Saturday, 12 June 2010

The tale takes a curious twist...

Yer know, that weren’t the end o’ that story… now I’ve ‘ad a few rums and naps for the best part of a week or so, I’ll tell the rest… Now where was I…?

Oh aye… so I floated by the shores of Erebos in this barrel (that was rapidly becomin’ more like pieces o’ barrel) when I ‘eard a voice shoutin’ me name. Assumed it were lost spirits at sea, callin’ me to me death, but it weren’t… it were miss Linwe. She soon ‘ad me dragged out onto dry land again.

So, havin’ been salted an’ battered and suff’rin’ some strange affliction o’ the gut (o’ which I’ll avoid the detail), I spent a few days recoverin’ on me back in’t stables an’ tryin’ ta get back ta me songs. Or I would ‘ave done, except me mind kept getting’ distracted by these whisperin’s on the wind. Not ta mention the wind me belly were producin’… But I nah likes ta complain, an’ struggled on wi’ me hard work, singin’ songs an’ stuff.

All were relatively normal, until I performed at a storytellin’ to an audience o’ dragons, elves an’ faefolk. Well… suddenly, half way through me song, folk started shoutin’ an’ jumpin’, like they was sat on nettles or somethin’. ‘Ow rude, thought I, interruptin’ me song like that. Completely put me off where I was in me tale. I carried on, regardless, professional as I am, an’ then me audience ‘ad the cheek ta start pointin’ at me an’ sayin’ me lute was hurtin’ ‘em. Well, I ne’er heard anythin’ like it… me poor ol’ lute, who’s been me friend fer donkey’s years, bein’ accused o’… witchcraft or summert? Pfft… it be jus’ a lute. But, worse than that, were the fact that the dragons ‘ad gotten riled, havin’ been hurt by what they assumed were me lute, an’ they started threatin’ me. Well, I was a little drunk… so I stood there an’ huffed, an’ called everybody daft. EVERYBODY, mind… An’ guess what? The dragons took it right personally. They weren’t so ‘appy about all the wind from me gut, neither, but that weren’t my fault. * rolls eyes * So I’s in a spot o’ trouble now wi’ them, but that be another story.

Anyway, the whole affair left me more than a little perturbed … but stranger than that, were the fact I kept driftin’ off into these daydreams an’ findin’ meself in unusual places, feelin’ all ‘appily giddy an’ tingly… a fact I kept ignorin’, until I found meself in the ‘aunted woods makin’… well… daisy chains. That nah be normal for me, yer knows. But things got worse than that even… yer remember how the folks at the storytellin’ were all getting’ hurt an’ blamin’ it on me lute? Well after a while, I could nah come up wi’ anymore excuses. I ‘ad to accept the fact that, apparently, I was afflicted wi’ magicks… an’ furthermore, magicks I ‘ad nah control over. I was firin’ them off all over the place, every time I played me lute… every time I got angry… every time I farted… * coughs *

Needless ta say, I were in a sorry state... but I's due down the tavern, so I'll finish this tale another time...

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