Saturday, 12 June 2010

The tale takes a curious twist...

Yer know, that weren’t the end o’ that story… now I’ve ‘ad a few rums and naps for the best part of a week or so, I’ll tell the rest… Now where was I…?

Oh aye… so I floated by the shores of Erebos in this barrel (that was rapidly becomin’ more like pieces o’ barrel) when I ‘eard a voice shoutin’ me name. Assumed it were lost spirits at sea, callin’ me to me death, but it weren’t… it were miss Linwe. She soon ‘ad me dragged out onto dry land again.

So, havin’ been salted an’ battered and suff’rin’ some strange affliction o’ the gut (o’ which I’ll avoid the detail), I spent a few days recoverin’ on me back in’t stables an’ tryin’ ta get back ta me songs. Or I would ‘ave done, except me mind kept getting’ distracted by these whisperin’s on the wind. Not ta mention the wind me belly were producin’… But I nah likes ta complain, an’ struggled on wi’ me hard work, singin’ songs an’ stuff.

All were relatively normal, until I performed at a storytellin’ to an audience o’ dragons, elves an’ faefolk. Well… suddenly, half way through me song, folk started shoutin’ an’ jumpin’, like they was sat on nettles or somethin’. ‘Ow rude, thought I, interruptin’ me song like that. Completely put me off where I was in me tale. I carried on, regardless, professional as I am, an’ then me audience ‘ad the cheek ta start pointin’ at me an’ sayin’ me lute was hurtin’ ‘em. Well, I ne’er heard anythin’ like it… me poor ol’ lute, who’s been me friend fer donkey’s years, bein’ accused o’… witchcraft or summert? Pfft… it be jus’ a lute. But, worse than that, were the fact that the dragons ‘ad gotten riled, havin’ been hurt by what they assumed were me lute, an’ they started threatin’ me. Well, I was a little drunk… so I stood there an’ huffed, an’ called everybody daft. EVERYBODY, mind… An’ guess what? The dragons took it right personally. They weren’t so ‘appy about all the wind from me gut, neither, but that weren’t my fault. * rolls eyes * So I’s in a spot o’ trouble now wi’ them, but that be another story.

Anyway, the whole affair left me more than a little perturbed … but stranger than that, were the fact I kept driftin’ off into these daydreams an’ findin’ meself in unusual places, feelin’ all ‘appily giddy an’ tingly… a fact I kept ignorin’, until I found meself in the ‘aunted woods makin’… well… daisy chains. That nah be normal for me, yer knows. But things got worse than that even… yer remember how the folks at the storytellin’ were all getting’ hurt an’ blamin’ it on me lute? Well after a while, I could nah come up wi’ anymore excuses. I ‘ad to accept the fact that, apparently, I was afflicted wi’ magicks… an’ furthermore, magicks I ‘ad nah control over. I was firin’ them off all over the place, every time I played me lute… every time I got angry… every time I farted… * coughs *

Needless ta say, I were in a sorry state... but I's due down the tavern, so I'll finish this tale another time...

Wednesday, 2 June 2010

A sea voyage...

Be a lot ta tell since spring broke one o’ the coldest winters I’s ever known. I’ll start at the beginnin’, I s’pose, then see if I can be bothered tellin’ the rest sometime. An eventful time, nowt but trouble since Miss Justine’s twins were born… meant ta be some symbols o’ the land’s fertility or some such (them druids don’t ‘alf do some strange things). Yer can wager everybody flocked ta see the new babes… an’ o’ course the lightest o’ feet belonged to the darkest o’ souls. Was nah a month afore them babes were taken – kidnapped – an’ suspicions loomed until an almighty battle raged across the land against these mercenary folk who ‘eld the twins.

Meanwhile, yer old friend Swith ‘ere was getting’… well… more than a little nervous about impendin’ war, an’ on the mornin’ o’ battle, I pulled a little raft I been workin’ on from under the wharf where I’d been hidin’ it and sailed off before first light. Me plan were quite simple… find a passin’ trade boat or somethin’, talk me way on, an’ ‘ead south ta spend a few days on a beach wi’ some rum. Give it a week or so, then ‘ead back to Erebos ta see ‘ow things looked.

Well, all were goin’ exactly ta plan… were the same afternoon when I were caught up by a small boat, an’ before it got close, I pretended ta fall over in a faint like some damsel in distress, an’ then cooked up some story about bein’ a lord’s minstrel who’d been stolen an’ abandoned by pirates. So they took me on board an’ give me some ‘ard-tack an’ grog, build up me strength a bit, an’ I were all thankful o’ course. I were jus’ settlin’ in an’ getting’ ta know the lads over a couple o’ sea shanties an’ whatnot, when a mighty storm came sudden out o’ nowhere, pushin’ back toward the north an’ near breakin’ the little boat in two.

Them superstitious scurvy sea-dogs… they blamed it on me! Said I were cursed ta bring down boats wi’ bad weather, put me in a barrel an’ shoved me overboard ta fend fer meself. Well… as yer can imagine, I thought me days were numbered. So tossed an’ battered were I by the storm, I thought I would die right there, in the middle o’ the sea, wi’ nowt but fishes an’ strange things. I don’ know how long I were driftin’… a day, maybe more… but jus’ as I feared ne’er seein’ land again, I raised me ‘ead an’ saw a mountain loomin’ before me. Oh, what ironic sight…. I were headin’ back to Erebos…

Sunday, 11 April 2010

Bloody Great Red Thing With Wings

Well... a stranger thing I ne'er did see wi' me own eyes. An' I only wandered in the tavern fer a drop o' rum afore sleepin'. I s'pose it started when this undead fellow by name o' Dark got 'imself finished off by miss Linwe an' Lore 'cause 'e were a nasty type, an' 'ad been causin' trouble fer a while. They skewered 'im through an' sliced off 'is 'ead - as most folks know, if yer cuts of the undead's 'ead, it'll die fer sure... nah comin' back from that... seems, 'owever, that yer CAN come back from that, if the abyss decides ta spit yer back out fer a joke...
An' then there were this big... um... thing wi' wings, an' 'e... well... tell yer want, I'll reach inta me memory an' tell it from the beginnin', just as it 'appened...

[7:35] Dark Moonwing's wings snap the air as he hovers over the building

[7:35] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sips at a rum she just helped herself to.

[7:36] Dark Moonwing's tongue flicks out tasting the air as he stares in a second floor window

[7:36] Dark Moonwing hisses with fury seeing no one there

[7:36] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) examines a bit of left over cheese, smells it, then pops it in her mouth.

[7:36] Dark Moonwing flies round the tavern and seeing his own skull screams with rage

[7:37] Dark Moonwing's tail lashes out knocking the pike over

[7:37] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) jumps, looking over her shoulder as she hears a scream and some clattering, chewing cheese slowly.

[7:37] Dark Moonwing drops to the ground talons raking deep into the earth

[7:37] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) tentatively goes to a window to peer out.

[7:38] Dark Moonwing raises his scaly head glowing eyes meeting swiths

[7:38] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) blinks, swallowing the cheese.

[7:38] Dark Moonwing's upper lip slowly curls showing his fangs steam curling from his nostrils 'where arrre they?'

[7:38] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) 's eyes widen a little and she vanishes to one side of the window frame.

[7:39] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) coughs and inquires, with a half-chuckle: Umm... who?

[7:39] Dark Moonwing gives a howl of rage and torment shoving the doors open 'wherrre are they?'

[7:39] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) backs off into a corner, scratching in her hair: Umm..... where's who? Wha'?

[7:40] Dark Moonwing drops to all fours claws scratching the floor as he moves his head tongue flicking out

[7:40] Dark Moonwing snarls 'lorrre, linweeee'

[7:40] Dark Moonwing: 'they did thisss to me!'

[7:40] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) watches the thing, blinking. She frowns: Umm... don' know what yer talkin' about there... must 'ave the wrong realm, I reckons...

[7:40] Dark Moonwing's scaly lips draw back in a snarl as he storms round the tavern.

[7:41] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) watches, slowly remembering something Linwe said about the abyss.

[7:41] Dark Moonwing's tail lashes the air as his nostrils flare 'they werre alwaysss here!'

[7:42] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) coughs a bit and swallows again: Umm.. well, looks like they's gone away fer a bit or somethin'... I nah seen 'em.

[7:42] Dark Moonwing screams with rage

[7:42] Dark Moonwing: 'you liiiiie!'

[7:42] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) says 'Don' s'pose yer'd be.... well.... formerly an undead named Dark...?'

[7:42] Dark Moonwing hisses 'yess' creeps closer

[7:43] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) nods, slowly, keeping her eyes on the thing: Righ'.... well I'd nah lie ta yer sir...

[7:43] Dark Moonwing's maddened eyes roll round his head 'they did thissss to me!'

[7:43] Dark Moonwing: 'they musssst pay!'

[7:43] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) nods: Aye... um... yer nah like bein' like that? Yer looks pretty strong an' all...

[7:44] Dark Moonwing growls 'paaaain'

[7:44] Dark Moonwing turns away and creeps up the stairs

[7:44] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) arcs a brow: Paaaaain...?

[7:45] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) frowns and tentatively weaves her way forward a little to try to see where it went.

[7:45] Dark Moonwing slams one of the doors open

[7:45] Dark Moonwing suddenly leaps down in front of swith screeching

[7:45] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) lingers at the bottom of the stairs.

[7:46] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) squeals and backs off, then forces a chuckle.

[7:46] Dark Moonwing moves to the fireplace 'they arrre gone!'

[7:46] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) says 'Umm... don' worry sir... I's sure yer'll sort the whole thing out...'

[7:46] Loralleti Dexler walks up outside, humming quietly to himself

[7:47] Dark Moonwing's head swivels round eyes narrowing 'I hearrr one'

[7:47] Dark Moonwing: 'they hid!'

[7:47] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) arcs a brow again and blinks, uncertain of what to do.

[7:47] Dark Moonwing moves back upstairs to look again, snarling

[7:47] Loralleti Dexler stops to examine his shoe

[7:47] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) decides to go behind a post and see if the thing goes away.

[7:48] Loralleti Dexler shakes his head then slips into the tavern

[7:48] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) hears the door and looks at Lore, blinking: Sir.... get out of 'ere!

[7:48] Loralleti Dexler smiles slightly, seeing Swith: "Ave"

[7:48] Loralleti Dexler frowns: "What is wrong?"

[7:48] Dark Moonwing knocks over a table

[7:48] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) points to the ceiling: There's a... thing upstairs - lookin' for yer... what used ta be Dark...

[7:48] Loralleti Dexler freezes

[7:49] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) says 'An' 'e seems a bit.,.... angry...'

[7:49] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) hisses: Yer ought ta run now, while yer still can...

[7:49] Loralleti Dexler mutters in Latin, then answers, "Not unless you come also"

[7:49] Loralleti Dexler: You are in danger here!

[7:49] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) nods, glancing at the ceiling: I bloody will, nah worries about that...

[7:49] Loralleti Dexler doesn't add that he thinks she's just drunk

[7:49] Dark Moonwing screeches

[7:50] Loralleti Dexler almost jumps out of his skin: "Good Heavens!"

[7:50] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) winces at the screech and motions toward the door: Come on sir... let's get out of 'ere!

[7:50] Dark Moonwing: 'WHERRE ISSS HEEEE!!!!!!'

[7:50] Loralleti Dexler nods and dashes to the door

[7:50] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) says 'Where's good ta hide? Stables?'

[7:50] Loralleti Dexler stares at teh stables: "No"

[7:50] Loralleti Dexler: the*

[7:51] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) glances back toward the tavern: Well we needs somewhere...

[7:51] Dark Moonwing shatters a window as he throws an ink bottle out

[7:51] Loralleti Dexler suddenly has an idea: "A ship!"

[7:51] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) ducks involuntarily behind a tree.

[7:51] Loralleti Dexler: We can hide in a ship!

[7:51] Loralleti Dexler flinches at the sound of glass

[7:51] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) nods: Aye sir... come on then...

[7:51] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) runs for the docks.

[7:52] Object: Loralleti Dexler is at the door.

[7:52] Loralleti Dexler lifts the latch: "Quick!"

[7:52] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) swings herself down into the belly of the boat.

[7:53] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) presses her back to the timber and sits, twitching a little.

[7:53] Loralleti Dexler jumps in and slams the door shut

[7:53] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) says 'D'yer think it'll jus' get bored an' go away?'

[7:53] Loralleti Dexler leans against a post, crimson eyes wide in the darkness

[7:53] Loralleti Dexler answers, soft voice even quieter than usual, "I know not"

[7:54] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) coughs a little in the darkness, more sober than she was earlier.

[7:54] Loralleti Dexler is silent

[7:54] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) says 'What the heck is 'e now? Some sort o' demon?'

[7:55] Loralleti Dexler answers, voice cracking a little, "I know not"

[7:55] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) scratches in her clothes: Bloody ugly thing if yer ask me... rude too...

[7:55] Loralleti Dexler: I...I thought...I...

[7:56] Dark Moonwing screams as he soars in the night sky like a bird of prey

[7:56] Loralleti Dexler clutches at the pole at the scream: "Are you certain that is Dark?"

[7:56] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) hears the scream and quivers a little.

[7:57] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) says 'Um... Linwe told me what 'ad 'appened... I asked if 'e was an' 'e said 'aye'...'

[7:57] Dark Moonwing drops to the boat on all fours claws scraping the deck

[7:57] Loralleti Dexler cringes at the sound

[7:57] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) freezes, blinking in the darkness at the ceiling.

[7:57] Dark Moonwing's nostrils quiver as he sniffs the deck steam curling from his mouth and nose

[7:58] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) tiwtches a little, fearfully, glancing at Lore.

[7:58] Loralleti Dexler stares at Swith through the darkness, expression frozen

[7:58] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) puts a finger to her lips.

[7:58] Dark Moonwing growls in his hellish voice 'huuumannn.....'

[7:58] Dark Moonwing's wings snap open and he flies up again

[7:59] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) 's eyes widen a little and she mouths at Lore: What do we do...?

[7:59] Loralleti Dexler feels around the inside of the boat

[7:59] Loralleti Dexler whispers back, voice shaking, "I...I know not...I cannot think..."

[8:00] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) stops still again, listening hard.

[8:00] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) whispers: If we stay quiet, maybe t'will bugger off...

[8:00] Dark Moonwing comes back quietly hooking his claws on the side of the boat

[8:00] Dark Moonwing clings there pressing his ear against the side listening for signs of life

[8:01] Loralleti Dexler nods slowly in agreement

[8:01] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) swallows in the darkness, trying to listen for signs of it.

[8:01] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) whispers: Just sit down an' stay quiet...

[8:01] Dark Moonwing's lip curls as he hears a whisper

[8:02] Loralleti Dexler slowly lowers himself, crossing his legs and obviously terrified...more than anyone has ever seen before

[8:02] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) eyes the interior of the boat again, scratching unconsciously at a flea.

[8:02] Dark Moonwing huddles against the side waiting patiently

[8:02] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) whispers, quietly to Lore: I can' 'ear anythin' out there... maybe it sodded off...

[8:03] Loralleti Dexler nods again, unable to speak

[8:03] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) whispers: Le's stay down 'ere a while before we 'as a look, eh...?

[8:04] Loralleti Dexler swallows and murmurs, "Good idea..."

[8:04] Dark Moonwing hears lore and slowly grins

[8:04] Dark Moonwing climbs quietly up the side of the ship and onto the deck

[8:05] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) coughs lightly, staring at the inside of the belly of the ship.

[8:05] Dark Moonwing works his talons under the lid and pries it up sticking his head upside down into the belly of the ship

[8:05] Dark Moonwing gives a rasping chuckle 'lorrre'

[8:05] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) squeals slightly and scrambles into the corner.

[8:06] Loralleti Dexler makes a noise somewhere between a cry and a sob

[8:06] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) crouches down behind a stairway, blinking.

[8:06] Dark Moonwing ignores swith and leaps at lore

[8:06] Loralleti Dexler grabs his dagger, pulling it out: "Stay back!"

[8:06] Loralleti Dexler: Leave Swith and me be!

[8:07] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) stays quiet, watching.

[8:07] Dark Moonwing ignores the dagger just grabs the front of lores shirt 'miiine'

[8:07] Loralleti Dexler jabs at Dark's hand

[8:08] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) musters up courage to speak: Eh... leave 'im alone, eh? I's sure 'e didn' means ta cause yer pain...

[8:08] Dark Moonwing howls in pain and rage and drags lore with him

[8:08] Dark Moonwing hisses at swith eyes glowing

[8:08] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) stays put in the corner.

[8:08] Loralleti Dexler tries to pry Dark's fingers loose: "Leave her be!"

[8:09] Dark Moonwing pulls lore up onto the deck

[8:09] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) follows at a distance to peer through the hatch.

[8:09] First mate: Dark Moonwing is at the door.

[8:09] Object: Dark Moonwing is at the door.

[8:10] Dark Moonwing tugs lore up and grabs him with his hind talons

[8:10] Loralleti Dexler yelps with pain

[8:11] Object: Cyneswith Luik is at the door.

[8:11] Dark Moonwing grabs lore and laughing wildly flies off

[8:11] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) blinks, watching.

[8:11] Loralleti Dexler shouts in LAtin as he's carried away

Easter Song (with an impending battle twist)

[16:02] Linwe (Linwe Zifanwe) turns to Swith

[16:02] Linwe (Linwe Zifanwe) says 'Did ye no ahve summat for us too?'

[16:02] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) nods, and hiccups.

[16:03] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) puts the bottle away and finds her lute in her tattered sack.

[16:03] Emyly Beaumont smiles anticpating a song worthy of the great bard that Swith is

[16:03] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) tunes up a while: Aye... well I thought among the misery o' what's been goin' on around 'ere I'd sing a diversion about the season...

[16:04] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) says 'So it be... yer know. About spring an' all that..'

[16:04] Linwe (Linwe Zifanwe) nods

[16:04] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) begins a tune, thinking of the words.

[16:04] Emyly Beaumont nods in agreement: a spring song will be pleasant ot hear

[16:05] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) coughs a bit and starts up: ♫ So ‘ere ‘tis Spring, tha’ time o’ year

When all the birds start singin’. ♫

[16:05] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ (First thing in’t morn, after a beer,

It leaves yer ears a-ringin’..) ♫

[16:05] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ Now: each folk ‘olds their favourite myths,

‘Bout what goes on in Spring, ♫

[16:05] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ But this one be me favourite one,

So shuddup an’ I’ll sing… ♫

[16:05] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) coughs again and sings: ♫ The goddess walked upon the grass,

A-breathin’ breath o’ life… ♫

[16:06] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ An’ each thing woke as she did pass:

Each ‘edgehog, and ‘is wife… ♫

[16:06] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ As she were singin’ ta the trees,

She ‘eard a little…. “cheep!” ♫

[16:06] Linwe (Linwe Zifanwe) smiles widely

[16:06] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ She bent ta rifle through some leaves

An’ lyin’ in a heap - ♫

[16:06] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ There were a tremblin’ little bird –

Pathetic lookin’ thing. ♫

[16:06] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ She looked – an’ then exclaimed: “My word…

What ‘appened ta yer wing?” ♫

[16:07] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ The bird looked up wi’ quiverin’ beak

An’ showed a wing all bent. ♫

[16:07] Emyly Beaumont lets out her breath: oooo

[16:07] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ In little voice, it ‘gan ta speak:

“I’s all injured an’ spent!” ♫

[16:07] Emyly Beaumont says: poor birdie

[16:07] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ “Please kindly goddess – ‘ave an ‘eart…

I’s stuck an’ can nah fly.” ♫

[16:07] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ “It’s cold beneath this shrubbery

An’ I shall surely die!” ♫

[16:07] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) hiccups and sings: ♫ The goddess she did roll ‘er eyes

An’ bent closer ta say: ♫

[16:08] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ “I’d usually shout ‘that’s yer lot’

But I’s in good cheer today…” ♫

[16:08] Linwe (Linwe Zifanwe) listens intently at this most uunusal offering from Swith

[16:08] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ An’ so she knelt an’ rubbed ‘er ‘ands,

An’ laid ‘em on the bird. ♫

[16:08] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ She shut ‘er eyes an’ uttered quiet

Some ancient magic word. ♫

[16:08] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ The bird began ta twitch an’ flop

An’ made a funny sound… ♫

[16:08] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ It suddenly began ta change

Its beak became more round… ♫

[16:09] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ Where once were feathers, fur did sprout

An’ whiskers ta the north… ♫

[16:09] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ The wings shrunk back ta little arms

An’ great hind legs came forth… ♫

[16:09] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ Then on its head, where was a crest

O’ feathers standin’ proud ♫

[16:09] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ Came two long ears – the bird took breath

An’ yelled: “Fer cryin’ out loud…!” ♫

[16:09] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ “Yer’s turned me to a bloody hare!”

The goddess she guffaws, ♫

[16:09] Emyly Beaumont smiles

[16:10] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ Ta see the hare a-boxin’ air

Ta test its new-found paws. ♫

[16:10] Linwe (Linwe Zifanwe) laughs

[16:10] Ancient One (2ks Gears) smiles showing his teeth

[16:10] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ “Methinks as such yer’ll better fare,”

The gigglin’ goddess said. ♫

[16:10] saia Tigerpaw snuggles intot h warth of er mates wing

[16:10] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ She ‘gan ta speak, the happy hare,

But stopped, stock-still instead… ♫

[16:10] Mandi Tiponi giggles, setling bak

[16:10] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ Her long ears pinned back like a dog’s

That's caught wi’ someone's lunch. ♫

[16:10] Mandi Tiponi: *back

[16:10] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ She peered round fearfully at ‘er rump

‘Er back arched in a hunch… ♫

[16:11] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ Then suddenly, out plopped an egg,

But nah a normal hue… ♫

[16:11] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ What lay beneath the great hind leg

Was pink, an’ green, an’ blue… ♫

[16:11] Linwe (Linwe Zifanwe) arcs a brow

[16:11] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ The hare blinked up quite quizzically.

The goddess took the egg, ♫

[16:11] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ Which caught the sun all colourfully.

The hare began ta beg: ♫

[16:11] Vasil Danick smirks

[16:11] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ “Kind miss… what do yer mean by this?

A birdy, egg-layin’ hare…?” ♫

[16:12] Emyly Beaumont giggles

[16:12] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ The goddess gave the hare a kiss

An’ chuckled: “You are rare…” ♫

[16:12] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ “For the gift o’ life I gave

You must do this for me…” ♫

[16:12] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ “Lay these eggs to mark the spring

So mortal folk may see…” ♫

[16:12] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ “’ow blessed they be for fertile land

An’ thawin’ o’ the ice…” ♫

[16:12] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ “For if it weren’t fer MY fair ‘and,

Things would nah be so nice…” ♫

[16:13] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ So to this day, th’reluctant hare

Comes round ta lay ‘er gifts. ♫

[16:13] Ancient One (2ks Gears) enjoys the muisc

[16:13] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ Remindin’ us ta get ta work

As the veil o’ winter lifts… ♫

[16:13] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) pauses and grins, then continues: ♫ Yer see, in truth, we’s stronger

When the land be on our side… ♫

[16:13] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ So if needs be ta raise our arms

An’ inta battle stride… ♫

[16:13] Linwe (Linwe Zifanwe) grins widely

[16:13] Emyly Beaumont: /mr claps her hand: that is a wonderful tale Swith

[16:13] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ In bold defence o’ friends an’ land,

That every man ‘ere shares… ♫

[16:14] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) sings: ♫ The enemies shall crumble and

We’ll take back what’s nah theirs. ♫

[16:14] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) grins and finishes her tune with a flourish.

[16:14] Linwe (Linwe Zifanwe) says 'I ash always said she be more elven than some elvfs'

[16:14] Emyly Beaumont syas: Yes! I want ot help get the twins back to the land

[16:14] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) blinks at Linwe: Eh...?

[16:14] Ancient One (2ks Gears) flaps his wings " well done swith , very nice"

[16:14] Justine Moyet claps with a smile

[16:15] saia Tigerpaw: bravo

[16:15] Emyly Beaumont grins widely: a wonderful tale

[16:15] Swith the Scop (Cyneswith Luik) tips her head, finding her bottle in her boot again: Glad yer all likes it...

Thursday, 4 February 2010

The slow crawl from hibernation...

It 'as been a long 'ibernation, long and drunken, the little 'eart kept beatin' by the warmth o' the rum flowin'. Nah good conditions fer a minstrel... nah good fer most folk. But now, the wheel, she turns again, an' as the grass grows an' the springtime starts comin' along, tha' little bit o' warmth on the breeze 'elps me mind wake up (and the bloody fleas). Things are ne'er so bleak tha' can't turn round.

But anyways... wha's been 'appenin'... I forgets most. Mainly due to a yuletide gift off me good friend miss Linwe - a nice bottle o' blue.. sourberry.. somethin' wine. I forgets what she calls it. But can blow yer 'ead off, that stuff an' open up yer eyes to all sorts o' strange sights. On the negative side, it can also make yer lose a couple o' months.

I remember, through a dull haze o' blurry mist, lots o' strange 'appenin's. Linwe even died at one point, which were guttin'... but then she came back again, which were good... A couple o' times, I'd be walkin', an' I'd see a man crawlin' across the walls o' the ruins. Vertically, like a spider or somethin'. I knows 'im... the undead fellow, Lore. And I knows I's seen it right... it's nah a vision o' drunkenness. I don' trust 'im. I'll take 'is coin, but I keeps 'im at arm's length. Don't matter anyway... 'e gone off travellin' now or somethin'.

The elvenfolk are still as barmy as a collection of nutcases baked into a fruitcake an' rolled down a hill, but tha's a status that 'as taken 'em centuries ta perfect. Last I 'eard, one o' them, miss Alo, 'ad burnt down the Elven Hall... they don' do themselves any favours, these elven. Under some sort o' magicky strangeness o' the matron o' the drow they reckons. An' 'er man Markus is quite the mystery an' all.

She's a funny one too, the matron. Only seen 'er once or twice, but they reckons she be experimentin' on folk or somethin' now, as she gone an' put vampire blood in miss Justine (who be also pregnant wi' the Solstice twins). Wha' good that'll do fer anyone, I don' know. Vampires an' them things undead make me skin crawl though. I's got enough bloodsuckers of me own livin' in me hair.

Meh... there'll be nah experimentin' on this minstrel though, tha's fer sure. A good dose o' rum'll keep the blood clean...
As fer me purpose now, I's back to entertainin'. I's 'ad a long 'ard think about me situation while I was in 'ibernation. So I'll leave on a song...

♫ Now lately facts 'ave come ta light
Tha' I can't disregard...
The very question o' me fame
An' standin' as a bard...

It seems I's gathered some repute -
I knows wha' yer all think.
An' I's nah goin' to refute -
I likes a little drink...

But then... skilled drunk or gift o' song?
Which says me name the most?
Be Swith the Smashed or Swith the Scop
When I's nah but a ghost?

I say we let these two ghosts fight
An' put me skills on trial.
First - the minstrel, quick o' wit,
An' cheerily in style.

I's nah bad wi' a lute yer know
(An' music be love's food)
I raises chuckles oft, although
The songs can oft be rude...

But tha's jus' from me early work
O' singin' pirate shanties...
They likes ta 'ear, them burly lads,
O' ladies wi' nah panties...

Now to the drunk - be nah a pain,
But more... proficient sot.
In truth, I likes ta entertain
Wi' fallin' down a lot.

I's nah great cause o' lots o' strife.
I nah takes off me clothes.
I's ne'er awoken as a wife
Ta someone I nah knows...

But when it comes ta drinkin' rum,
It's well clear that I'm able
To drink most folk onto their bum,
An' righ' under the table...

So now dilemma, she unfolds:
Two talents, both o' worth...
But then a sayin' sprang ta mind,
Me memory did unearth:

"Oh Rum - yer makes me lips go numb,
An' makes me tongue be limber...
But mind that I don' find mesel'
A-hangin' from some timber..."

So as a wise an' studied bard,
I took the words as spoke.
The obvious conclusion be
Don't fix what is nah broke...

Good bedfellows are song an' rum
A limber tongue is luck...
Most vital is rum - it rhymes wi' 'bum'
(An' the other line rhymes wi' f-)

An' as a wise an' studied drunk,
I keeps control enough,
Ta run from them who takes offence,
When they's angry, big an' gruff. ♫

Saturday, 7 November 2009


Turns out I got commissioned ta sing a song fer the drow matron, who keeps givin' me these lovely pearls... Good thing I was rollin' drunk when she asked me ta sing it in the tavern in front of other folks.

♫There be a name tha' whispers o'er the rock...
Hush'd, but insistant to entice the ear...♫
♫ Commandin' ev'ry wanderer ta flock,
An' listen closely, lest they chance ta 'ear..♫

♫ Lo'Muu... tha' low murmur eminates..
No fleetin' roar or finite cry o' kings..♫
♫But rather constancy, weaved throughout fates,
To touch the mountains an' the smallest things..♫

♫What eye does nah acknowledge an offense
From mighty storms an' fiery wrath o' wars?♫
♫But tha' same eye would miss the bold events,
O' lappin' water shapin' all the shores.♫

♫An' so - Lo'Muu - the name resounds so deep,
As deadly in sweet patience as the breeze..♫
♫Refreshin' as yer drift off inta sleep..
But deadly: when, by night, yer soul doth freeze..♫

Sunday, 18 October 2009

The Smell o' Stew

♫I’ll tell yer all a tale o’ folk

I ‘eard some time ago…♫

♫The kind o’ tale tha’s like a joke,

Wi’ a lesson in the flow…♫

♫A-wand’rin’ through a town was I,

Wi’ nah a penny earned,♫

♫When smells o’ dinner wafted by,

An’ I stopped an’ sniffed an’ turned..♫

♫T’was comin’ from a tavern ‘ouse.

The smell were beckonin’ me…♫

♫So I crept in, quiet as a mouse

(Wi’ a rumblin’ stomach) can be…♫

♫As it were early in the day,

There were nah people yet.♫

♫So round the back I made me way,

Ta see what I could get…♫

♫An’ there before me very eyes,

The source o’ nose-delight…♫

♫A great big bubblin’ pot I spies –

Oh, what a welcome sight…♫

♫I limped across to where it stood

(I only ‘ad one shoe).♫

♫ The bubb’lin’ pot hissed: ‘I tastes good…

Yer knows what yer must do…’♫

♫ (Aye, true – so ‘ungry was I then,

I thought the pot, she spoke…♫

♫In truth, I were near faintin’ down,

Me ‘unger were nah joke…)♫

♫I finds a rag an’ lifts the lid,

An’ peers inside the pot.♫

♫The cook ‘ad sure ‘imself outdid:

A beef stew wi’ shallot.♫

♫I stopped an’ savoured ev’ry whiff,

I shut me eyes an’ smiled,♫

♫But at a sound, I straightened stiff –

The cook stood, looking riled…♫

♫From the door ‘e came at me,

I dropped the lid wi’ a clatter,♫

♫‘E grabbed me wrist most cruelly,

‘is fist prepared ta batter.♫

♫ ‘You’ll pay fer tha’ yer dirty scrag!’

‘E shouts, wi’ reddened hue.♫

♫ I protested: ‘I did nah take!

I only smelt the stew!♫

♫ ‘It matters not, I will still charge

Jus’ fer the smell of it…’♫

♫I paused – then took me chance to barge

An’ squirm from out ‘is grip.♫

♫I ran fer’t door an’ open air -

‘E chased me wi’ a cleaver.♫

♫Built like a castle gate ‘e were.

(No doubt wi’ a tiny lever..)♫

♫An’ as me little legs ran fast,

I ran straight into a priest,♫

♫Who ‘appened ta be strollin’ past.

I glanced back at the beast…♫

♫Then pleaded to the holy man,

‘Please sir… I’s bein’ chased…♫

♫This cook wants pennies for a stew

I smelt but did nah taste!’♫

♫By this time cook ‘ad caught us up,

All red an’ sweaty an’ wheezin’.♫

♫ ‘Is cleaver raised ready ta chop -

Me legs nah moved fer freezin’.♫

♫The priest ‘e sudden raised a hand,

An’ stopped ‘im on the swing.♫

♫ ‘E asked: ‘Am I to understand,

Yer chargin’ this young thing,♫

♫ For merely a faint whiff o’ stew?

The cook ‘e nods ‘is ‘ead.♫

♫The priest, ‘e frowned between us two,

But then ‘e shrugged an’ said:♫

♫ ‘No matter then, yer’ll get yer pay.

I’ll see to it meself.’♫

‘E took a purse o’ leather grey,

Not laden wi’ much wealth.♫

♫The cook ‘e grinned, that slimy leech,

As th’ kindly priest complied.♫

♫ But ‘e dangled that purse out o’ reach

An’ rattled the coins inside.♫

♫The priest ‘e said: ‘Be satisfied,

If she did scent purloin.♫

♫For the smell o’ stew I do provide

The sound o’ jinglin’ coin.♫

♫ The cook, well, ‘e ‘ad nah reply -

‘E’d made ‘im feel a sinner.♫

♫ I grinned an’ thanked th’ kindly priest,

An’ went ‘round ‘is fer dinner.♫