I's nah one fer tournaments wi' blades an' bows (would more likely 'ave me own eye out than someone else's), but we 'ad some daft games goin' fer t'ordinary citizens ta join in wi'. I wandered out o' the tavern late, 'avin' slept long in front the fire an' then 'ad a few meads ta get mesel' goin'. Bumped inta ol' Rikryn the baker on't way ta the village an' got chattin', an' we was talkin' 'bout some o' the comin' games. I starts teasin' 'im, all in jest like, about 'is age an' 'im bein' too slow ta compete wi' the youngsters o' the realm, an' o' course, what wi' 'im bein' 'alf-drow an' all, sometimes 'e don't appreciate me testin' 'im. Then suddenly, before I knows what I's agreein' ta, 'e gone an' challenged me to a pie bakin' contest, in which we gots ta run an' find th'ingredients an' get back ta the ovens.
*rolls eyes* Well... I's nah much fer bakin', but I's fast on me feet, so we starts off, fightin' over the wheat at first, but then I loses 'im in the woods lookin' fer firewood. I starts ta regret it when I began to sober up a bit, windin' the well fast as I could an' runnin' back ta town. An' I gets there...an' who'd 'ave thought it - I were first back to the bakery, wi' the ol' baker nowhere in sight. *grins*
So I starts tryin' ta make pastry fer the pie, scratchin' me 'ead... s'been a while since I's done bakin' like tha', an' ta be honest, I 'ad nah clue wha' I was doin' fer a while. Some folk 'ad gathered ta watch, an' started shoutin' out advice an' that. But while I was stood figurin' it out, I could see Rikryn 'imsel', off at a distance, makin' 'is way steadily toward the village, wi' 'is ol' bones creakin'. I frowns an' starts panickin' a bit, droppin' bits o' dough on't floor an' pickin' 'em up again, watchin' 'im out the corner o' me eye as 'e begins kneedin' dough like a bloody expert. So I rushes me pie base ta the oven....an' wha' do yer think? I's nah enough bastard cherries! I 'as ta run off ta the bloody tree an' shake it an' shake it 'til more fall down. 'Alf o' them ended up in't river, but I finally manages ta get enough fer me pie.
I runs back only ta find tha' 'e gone an' got 'is stupid pie in th'oven already, an' 'e standin' there wi' a big smirk on 'is face, like a puppy that gone an' shat in me shoe. So I ignores 'im, an' carries on, an' finally gets me effort in me oven. I could see from't look on 'is face tha' 'e knew 'e bloody won. While they's bakin', I tried me best ta scupper 'is pie, short o' standin' there dismantlin' 'is oven brick by brick. Even tried ta throw a bucket o' water o'er 'is fire (but managed ta soak 'im instead).
But it were nah use... 'is pie came out th'oven lookin an smellin' perfect. Mine looked an' smelled like it'd already been ate an' passed.
Gah... tha' bloody ol' baker. I'll ne'er 'ear th'end o' that. 'Patience,' said 'e... 'There be a difference between patience an' haste.' Pfft. I'll get 'im back soon enough. An' I did too... I beat 'im at both arm an' mud wrestlin' later on tha' very day. *grins*
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